A Day in the Life of an Adult Skater

- radio comes on at 3:30 a.m.
- dog gets up and seeks a safe out of the way corner
- Dianne doesn't hear a thing
- clock radio starts to buzz at 3:40
- dog looks on in faint hope of breakfast
- Dianne doesn't hear a thing
- travel alarm on headboard starts to chirp at 3:45
- Dianne does her best to ignore annoying chirping
- 3:58 a.m. the annoying chirping finally starts to reach Dianne's subconscious
- 4 a.m. Dianne realizes what time it is and LEAPS out of bed!
- begin to dress with clothes laid out the night before (NEVER make clothing decisions at 4 a.m.!)
- something doesn't feel right - turn on the light
- take the long-johns off and put them on UNDER the slacks
- put on bra - wonder why the catches wont catch
- take off bra and put on again right-side-out
- pull on top, wonder why both sleeves are on the same side - try again
- pick up plastic bag with office clothes (prepared the night before - see rule above!)
- head down stairs, turn on computer and coffee maker
- visit bathroom
- back-track to find bag with office clothes and put it with skate bag
- pour first coffee and park in front of computer - try to see screen through eyelids
- check email, Facebook, and scrabble games (mind comes up with some very creative words at 4:10 a.m.!)
- drink 2nd cup of coffee (have to be awake enough to find the car in 40 minutes!)
- 4:40, time for hair and makeup
- 4:55 feed the dog and out the door
- 5:00 on the road
- 5:05 go back for skate bag
- 5:08 go back for office clothes
- 5:12 head for the city (Where am I going? Oh yea!)
- 5:55 arrive at Tim Horton's for breakfast sandwich & GIANT coffee - they know me, I don't need to order.....
- 6:00 munch Tim's breakfast sandwich in the car
- 6:15 arrive at the rink
- 6:16 check the ice and grumble about the terrible flood
- 6:17 clean up the trash and close all the gates, cuss hockey-playing slobs
- 6:19 go to the maintenance room for the keys
- 6:20 unlock the coaches' room and music stand
- 6:22 return keys to maintenance room
- 6:23 stand outside with night man and have a smoke
- 6:30 bathroom break
- 6:40 back to the coaches' room to warm-up and stretch
- 6:45 back to the bathroom (remember all the coffee?)
- 6:47 back to the coaches' room to boot up
- 6:50 out into the rink to put on the music (before the youngsters put on some darned-fool head-banger stuff!)
- 6:55 take to the ice

skate
lesson

- 8:30 drag what's left of my weary broken carcass back to the coaches' room
- take skates off, wipe blades, and put away skates
- wring sweat out of bra
- change to office clothes
- head for car
- go back and retrieve skate bag
- return to car
- search for keys
- search coaches' room for purse
- search for car
- drive to work
- realize it was a day off
- return home
- go back to bed (with dog) and pull covers over head